Team Dog or Team Cat: The Elegant Absurdity of Having to Pick a Side
We live in a world where it seems like if you’re not on a team, you’re simply not playing. Everything is a battle, a label, a death match to belong to something. Can’t decide? You’re wishy-washy. Like two things at once? Incoherent. Refuse to hate someone because of their paperwork or political views? Outcast.
If you like blue, you cannot possibly like red. No exceptions. If you like chocolate, you must reject coffee. Pick a side, soldier. It’s the law of the land.
But here’s a secret no one dares to admit: I’m on Team Dog and Team Cat. I like mountains and beaches. I drink coffee and eat chocolate. I’m the scandalous hybrid no one warned you about.
You see, the world loves neat boxes. Blue or red. Left or right. Legal or illegal. Good or bad. But what if the problem isn’t the boxes but the obsession with fitting in them?
We insist on choosing sides in the small stuff — Team Dog vs. Team Cat, Team Mountain vs. Team Beach — as a kind of practice for the big stuff. Politics, identity, culture. Except in the big stuff, the stakes are higher and the fights uglier.
Remember when your biggest crisis was choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Now it’s a global sport to pick your enemies and polish your hate trophies. Social media armies battle over who’s the most “correct” in every little thing, like a never-ending, exhausting election night in your group chat.
The irony? We created this madness ourselves. We started by saying, “You can only like one ice cream flavor.” Then it escalated to “You can only support one political ideology,” and now, “If you don’t hate the person across the line, you’re the enemy.”
It’s as if humanity collectively decided to hold a contest for who can be the most divided. Spoiler alert: everyone loses.
Maybe it’s time to rebel against this ridiculous mandate to pick just one. To embrace contradictions. To say, “Yes, I love both cats and dogs. I want the beach and the mountain. I support policies that make sense, no matter which side they come from.”
If we don’t start celebrating complexity and nuance in everyday life, how do we expect the world stage to calm down?
Because the truth is, people are complicated. We’re messy. We’re inconsistent. And that’s okay. Want to enjoy your coffee and chocolate? Go ahead. Want to listen to heavy metal and classical music? Rock on. Want to have friends who disagree with you politically but still invite you for dinner? Welcome to adulthood.
So next time someone tries to shove you into Team Blue or Team Red, just sip your coffee, smile, and quietly cheer for Team Both.
Because life is too rich and confusing to be boiled down to simple labels and forced choices.
And honestly? It’s way more fun this way.